The following story is my recollection of real events that occurred some 50 years ago. I think it would be good to share it now. This is a story of respect.
Once upon a time many years ago there were two grown men, old enough to have been my father. One was black (we’ll call him Jerome), the other white (we’ll refer to him as William).
William was your typical southern racist. He had been raised that way. It was ingrained in his psyche. He grew up during the “separate, but equal” era when blacks had to go to separate schools, use separate public bathrooms, separate water fountains, separate waiting rooms at the doctor’s office, and had to eat in a separate room at a restaurant if they were allowed in at all. William did not associate with blacks. Now, don’t get me wrong. He did not go out terrorizing his black neighbors by burning crosses in their yard or hanging them in trees. He did not treat blacks poorly or rudely in any way when he encountered them. But he simply did not think that the two races should mingle. He didn’t go around shouting his disdain from the rooftops, but if you asked his opinion, he would not sugarcoat it. I can’t explain his rationale. I can’t justify it. It was just the way William had been taught that things were supposed to be.
Jerome, on the other hand, had suffered all the indignities and injustice of that era. He had every reason to harbor tremendous hate and vitriol for the way he had been treated all his life.
William did not take well to the integration movement of the mid-20th century. Then when Jerome came to work at William’s place of employment (the first black ever), tensions were high. All eyes were on these two. Jerome had been warned—you will have to avoid this man if you expect to succeed in your new job. But Jerome did not listen to the naysayers. He met his nemesis head-on and engaged him. No, he did not get up in his face waving his fist and shouting vulgarities. He did not march in front of him carrying signs. He did not tell him that he needed to apologize for being the way he was. Rather, Jerome was kind, caring, and respectful, and perhaps a little more than forgiving. He was simply Jerome, and if you knew Jerome, you would understand what that means.
I can’t tell you exactly how Jerome did it but in a short time, he had melted old William’s heart. They were very soon the best of friends. That friendship grew and blossomed for many years thereafter. They visited each other often and shared meals in their homes. Homemade cakes and pies were exchanged at Christmas. They were almost like brothers—at least they shared a brotherly love. When William died, his family’s first choice for a pallbearer was Jerome. Was William still a racist when he died? I don’t know about that, but I can tell you that his best friend on earth was Jerome and it did not matter that he was a black man.
I tell this story because I think it contains a lesson from which we could all learn. If you want to change the heart of a man you will not accomplish that by marching in protest, carrying signs with vulgar phrases, looting, burning buildings, smashing cars, kneeling for the national anthem, demanding reparations, or otherwise being disrespectful of your fellow man. You may get some laws changed, some reforms tossed around, some empty words spoken, but if hearts are not changed have you accomplished anything?
Yes, they were just two people, but this is how you get things changed.
It is true, fringes of racism still exist but Jerome endured much more in his day than anyone faces in 2020. He battled it with love and forgiveness in his heart. You cannot win respect by being disrespectful. In the end, you will have lost more than you have gained. Take it from Jerome. He gained respect and admiration from a die-hard racist by simply demonstrating respect for a wayward brother. We need more Jeromes in this world. If you cannot give respect then you should not expect to receive it.
And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.(Ephesians 4:32)
