Regular or Decaf?

This story is for all the coffee snobs out there--I'm talking those who drink the hard stuff, unadulterated by sugar, milk or any other flavoring.

I had a really great cup of joe at a restaurant we visited today. I rarely order restaurant coffee because it usually disappoints me.  I consider myself to be somewhat of a coffee snob in that I like the stuff brewed fresh and stout. My rule is that if you pour about a half inch into a cup and you can see the bottom of the cup, then it is just colored water. I am not a non-stop drinker. I have usually two cups per day, rarely three. I like the dark roast varieties which I am told don't have near as much caffeine as do the medium and light roast varieties, so I drink for taste and not the buzz. The Whiskey Cake Restaurant in Plano brought out my coffee in a French press so I could steep it to my satisfaction. It was so fine.

Which brings me to a story about a local shop that had the words "gourmet coffee" posted on its sign out front. I went in shortly after it opened to sample the wares. So the young lady behind the counter asked me what I would like to have.

I responded,  "What kind of coffee do you have?"

 She responds, "Frappuccinos, cappuccinos, latte this and latte that, ad infinitum..."

 I said, "No thank you, those are coffee flavored sugar concoctions. I just want coffee."

 She says, "Oh, you want regular coffee?"

 "What kind do you have?" I asked.

 She replies, "We have regular and decaf. "

"So, would you like a cup of regular coffee?" she impatiently asked me.

"No," I said silently to myself. "Your sign says gourmet coffee. It does not say regular coffee. I did not come in here for regular coffee."

At this point I am concluding that she has no clue about the different roasts and blends of gourmet coffee, of which the sign out front boasts. I resign myself to sample a cup out of the big pot that looks like it may have been brewed three hours ago. So I tell her I'll try a cup of regular coffee, thinking to myself I could have gotten regular coffee at Mickey D's, Pitt Grill, IHOP, Whataburger, or any number of places for about one third of what you are going to charge me, but maybe yours will be better. Well, I took my paper cup to the table, removed the lid, and sure enough I'm staring at the bottom of that cup through 12 ounces of "colored water." I never returned to that quaint little shop that promised "gourmet coffee" but only delivered "regular coffee" while charging inflated gourmet prices. I sometimes wonder why it did not stay in business very long.

NOTE: I wrote this July 3, 2014. I may have posted it to Facebook at that time. Ran across it today in some old files and decided I would post it here for posterity.